Blindness

"There are a whole lot of people who are blindly stumbling their way through life. But their blindness is made even more powerful and dangerous by the fact that they tend to be blind to their blindness. A physically blind person is never blind to his blindness. He's immediately confronted with the fact that he's unable to see, and he gives himself a whole catalog of ways to live inside the boundaries set by this profound physical deficiency. The scary reality is that one of the things that keeps spiritually blind people blind is that they're not only convinced they see, but they're also convinced that they see quite well! And so they don't seek help for their blindness. Why seek help for a condition from which you are convinced you don't suffer?

So, whenever you encounter a person who sees himself - or herself with precision, clarity, and accuracy, you know for sure that grace has visited that individual. It's only God's grace that can enable blind eyes to see, and it's only God's grace that can produce in us the willingness to accept what we've seen." - Paul David Tripp

"I can't even judge myself. Only the Lord can say, 'Well done.'" - Sara Groves

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In the past few years, but particularly this last one, I have started to realize just how dependent I am on the Father's grace, particularly when it comes to seeing my sin. I used to think by default that grace was needed in the act of repentance and the process of change. And of course it is, but how can I know of what to repent or in what direction to change if I cannot truly see what is in my own heart?

The students I know in Asia have particularly revealed this to me because as we talk about sin in their lives, I am forced to wonder about sin in my own life. It is easy to think of common answers to the question, "What do you repent of?" But it is much more difficult to see what is deep in my soul causing fights with roommates, an unwillingness to be honest, fear of man, selfishness. Even in times of reflection and quiet, I find myself simply asking God to reveal my sin to me so I can repent. I know something is wrong, I feel it is wrong in my soul, but I can't see or name it. I cannot create holiness in myself because I am blind to what is unholy about me in the first place.

There is peace in Sara Groves' words "I can't even judge myself. Only the Lord can say, 'Well done.'" It is impossible for me to live by my own standards with open eyes - I'm blind to failings against my own personal code of life. No amount of endless navel-gazing could reveal to me my shortcomings. I can't fully know the recesses of my mind, my heart, my soul. Resting in the Father's grace starts at the most basic level of trusting he knows me better even than I know myself. He is my Creator and my Sustainer whose mercy opens my eyes to areas of sin. Because he knows me, I can know myself. Because he reveals sin, I can repent. Because he has a plan, I can know in what direction to change. I can't judge myself, but rather hold on to the guiding hand of the One who sees and knows all things as he slowly opens my eyes from a sleeping blindness to a glorified wakefulness.

Two Worlds

I LOVE this billboard. It's a convergence of my two languages and worlds. Maybe one day Spanish will be in the mix, too! ;-p

Contrast

I just wrapped copies of C.S. Lewis' Mere Christianity in Hello Kitty paper for friends who will seriously enjoy both. What a funny version of femininity. Guess what continent I'm currently on? ;-)

Whoa, Free Boat Ride For 3!

This is a shout out to Sarah and Chris who woke up this morning and found themselves capable of singing this song - while floating on their bed in a flooded apartment.

Love you lots, girl, and just wanted to see if you're still into your RSS feed thingy. ;-P

I Will Sing

"I will sing for the meek
For those who pray with their very lives for peace
Though they're in chains for a higher call
Their mourning will change into laughter when the nations fall

In spirit poor
In mercy rich
They hunger for Your righteousness
Their hearts refined into purity
Lord let me shine for them
Lord let me sing
Lord let me shine for them
Lord let me sing"

Sometimes I wonder how I ended up over here. But then I hear this song and remember my mom singing it at the top of her lungs along with Rich Mullins' voice coming through the stereo on any given day of my childhood. I am realizing more and more how much my parents shaped who I am and how I've carried on and out their values and beliefs. Listen to the song by clicking on the link below. It's beautiful. And remember to lift up your brothers and sisters around the world.

http://www.rhapsody.com/rich-mullins/never-picture-perfect/i-will-sing/lyrics.html

Why I Value The Traditional Church

I was riding home on a packed bus late one night last week. Bus rides are sometimes a battle against discouragement for me. The vast sea of lost humanity is shoved in my face as I pass sky rise after sky rise and the endless ebb and flow of people keeping traffic moving on the streets. There are just so many people and so few of them know their Maker. There are days when the reality of this city's brokenness seems distant and the hilarity of the bus brings me bubbling joy; but there are other days when poverty, physical disability and pain, perversion, arrogance, anger and temper, and so much more seem overwhelming. And in these times, I find myself crying out from the depths of my heart, wondering if such reality can ever actually change. I sit with people and talk all day, every day of the week, about an alternate Reality which can, does, and eventually completely will change life as we know it, but sometimes when I'm smashed up against the weight of sin on the public bus, that Reality can seem so far away and distant.

So last week, I put on my ipod to tune out everything around me. As I shuffled around, I came to a song by Rich Mullins called Creed and it reminded me why I deeply appreciate the centuries old church traditions. It makes me really sad when I hear people bash the traditions because they give me so much hope and joy. Mullins' singing of the Apostles' Creed reminds me that people have believed this crazy old story of a Reality with the power to change life for centuries, and they haven't just believed it, but these ancient generations have stood and died by it.

And yet, it's not just the ancients whose voices we hear in the traditions of the church. Mullins adds a chorus which declares:
"And I believe what I believe
Is what makes me what I am
I did not make it, no it is making me
It is the very truth of God and not
The invention of any man"
By adding his own voice to the ancient words, he shows that this truth is not stagnant, but alive. He acknowledges the Truth makes him, rather than the opposite, but in doing so, he adds a contemporary voice and perspective to the wisdom of the ancients. What we believe is for all time and all people, shaping us, but allowing us to add our current experiences and discoveries to the story. Man does not create it, but man does live it and express it according to every generation's needs and yearnings.
I might be isolated in a random dark part of Asia, but the voices of the saints throughout time encourage me through that which they have left behind in their creeds. I can listen to their passion and desperate hope and know that I am not alone. The traditions and creeds of the church are the way in which I participate in something older and bigger than me. And that's often exactly what I need in the midst of life over here. When I'm in the middle of millions of people who don't know of, understand, or care about the call of eternity, I want and need something to remind that the Kingdom is alive and persevering. What better way to remember this than to hear the ageless cheering voices of my brothers and sisters and to stand with them in our timeless declaration of what was and is and is to come?

My Awesome Playlist From Last Year That I Just Rediscovered... I Promise It Won't Disappoint!

1. Meditation From "Thais" (Featuring Lang Lang) - Lucia Micarelli
2. La Valse D'Amelie (piano version) - Amelie Soundtrack
3. Tryin' To Throw Your Arms Around The World - U2
4. Come Away With Me - Norah Jones
5. Sur Le Fil - Amelie
6. Blood On Our Hands - Aqualung
7. At Last - Etta James
8. Ever the Same - Rob Thomas
9. Unchained Melody - Righteous Brothers
10. Let It Die - Feist
11. You Can Have It All - Yo La Tengo
12. Baby That's Not All - Josh Ritter
13. Save The Last Dance For Me - Harry Nilsson & John Lennon
14. You're Beautiful - James Blunt
15. Our Love is Here to Stay - Ella Fitzgerald & Louis Armstrong
16. You Don't Know Me - Jann Arden
17. Comtine D'un Autre Ete: L'apres Midi - Amelie Soundtrack
18. Under My Skin - Frank Sinatra
19. Love Is In The Air - John Paul Young
20. Tears Are In Your Eyes - Yo La Tengo
21. Come Fly With Me - Michael Buble
22. Questions - Jack Johnson
23. Samson - Regina Spektor
24. The Way You Look Tonight - Tony Bennett
25. Loving You - Elvis Presley
26. Le Moulin - Amelie Sountrack
27. Please Forgive Me - David Gray